Now matter how old and awesome I get, I learn that I am never too old to make a mistake.  Thank you, birthday universe, for, ahem, driving that point home.

Yesterday, as I was leaving work early, I backed into someones beautifully pristine Lexus.  It was a tap, a vehicle “kiss” if you will.  And, when I hopped out of the car to take a look at the damage, it wasn’t that bad.  (I have learned through experience, however, that ‘not that bad’ can still translate into hundreds of dollars worth of repairs.)

I felt stupid.  It was a stupid rookie mistake and I know better.  I really wanted to run away and pretend it didn’t happen.  (Of course I didn’t!)

Living your life on purpose, however, means stepping up no matter what happens.  No matter how stupid and foreseeable the event.  No matter how much damage it causes.  No matter how many people are disappointed.

It’s only a ’small’ situation, but how often do we cause problems for ourselves because we haven’t been honest with our selves? 

Sometimes we have problems or addictions or issues that we think we can hide and ignore because no one else knows about them.  Part of then being able to live with yourself means mentally ignoring that in yourself as well.  That’s one reason that politicians who rail against homosexuality often get caught out as homosexuals.  They hate it, even in themselves, so in order to live with themselves they disassociate themselves from it - even vilify it.

Take a night binger.  By day she is a respectable, ‘healthful’ individual with her granola and slimfast shakes.  At night, under cover of darkness, however, she sneaks an entire case of oreo cookies.  No one, including she, understands why she isn’t losing weight.  And she won’t admit, even to herself, that she has a problem.

The first step to living on purpose is being honest with yourself and others, in all situations. 

It’s no coincidence that the first step in AA is to stop living in denial.  Living authentically is not easy to do, but one may find that the more ‘real’ you are, the less problems you have because of you are upfront about who you are.

No one is perfect, especially me, though my husband tells me otherwise.  Be real about who you are.  You don’t have to issue a press release, but the first step is being honest with yourself.  If you won’t ever admit you have a problem or an issue, you can never fix it, and you can be absolutely sure it will blow up in your face.

I was lucky in that the person I backed into is a truly wonderful and amazing person, but she could have easily been someone who was trying to hose me for all she could get.  It takes absolute courage to face yourself, your loved ones, and the future with the worst hanging over your head.  It certainly isn’t easy.  Make no mistake, it takes courage in the truest sense of the word.

Don’t ever shortchange your soul to take the easy route.