And, at long last, we are a scant 8 days from closing. EIGHT DAYS. And then it will be mine. I will have what I have worked for, dreamed for, and planned for. At long last, I will be the next step of the American Dream.
What happens when you get what you want?
At aGoodHusband, Corey Huff asked the question “How do you face Happiness, Success, and Wealth?”
We are a culture looking for constant growth and seeking new opportunities. Making $20 billion last year means that$20 billion is not enough this year.
We must understand that it is the journey, not the destination, which holds intrinsic value for us. If everyone’s destination is the same, death, then the meaning of life must be found in the journey to that end.
Why do you want what you want?
Your reaction upon attaining your desires has much to do with the ‘why’ of your desires; your expectations.
Did you think that a job/a relationship/a substantial amount of money would make you happy? A better person? If you get what you wanted with ease, does it make you wonder whether your expectations were low? Do you feel cheated?
When you finally have what you want, be it a new job or HDTV, and don’t feel the way you expected to feel, you feel a little lost. After three months, our shiny new toy is no longer shiny or new.
What’s next?
Take a moment (or several!) to enjoy what you have accomplished before you rush off on the next journey. Before you set your sights on the next goal, really look at what you have first.
It’s all about exercising gratitude in your life.
I know this will not be the last house I ever live in, nor will it be the only house we’ll buy, but still - there is something special about what we have achieved. This is an instant worthy of celebration and repast. And there is plenty for which to be grateful.
If, at the end of our respective journeys, we look back and realize that we noticed none of the scenery, savored none of the moments, and celebrated none of the victories - what was the point? Why bother having chocolate if you eat it robotically!
If we never took a moment to appreciate our lives or give thanks for our blessings, we were nothing more than mindless cogs in a machine of our own making.
Smell the coffee.
Much of our expectations are based on a future we have only constructed in our minds. That future, that idea, has little to do with reality. The reality is that life is precious and every moment fleeting.
So, relax. All you have, truly, is this moment. Anything else is a figment of your imagination.
7 comments
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May 15, 2008 at 10:15 pm
jimsmuse
This post made me think of one of my favorite movie endings ever: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original with Gene Wilder):
Willy Wonka: Do you know what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he ever wanted?
Charlie: What happened?
Willy Wonka: He lived happily ever after.
—
You do have an important point though, which is that we all do pretty much have everything if we can take a few moments and just notice it!
persistentillusion says:
New Willy Wonka or classic Willy Wonka?
May 16, 2008 at 12:55 am
curlywurlygurly
interesting post…i often speak with my high school students who live in an insular society of extremely wealthy people, what their dream cars are.
invariably, they answer with bentley, lexus, range rover, etc. i then ask them ‘what if i gave you your dream car, but the only catch is that you have to own it on deserted island–would you still want the car?’
they realize that they only want the cars so they can SHOW them to other people in their community–ie. their self-worth is determined by their cars, homes, gadgets, and material goods instead of what’s inside of them.
they understand my little lesson, but don’t always like it.
persistentillusion says:
You are SLICK. Mad props! I wish you taught my kids.
May 16, 2008 at 12:58 am
thedailydish
Congrats again Hayden — almost there!
May 16, 2008 at 12:45 pm
connie
There is nothing I love better than coming “home” to my Queendom! I do not have the fancy address or McMansion but I LOVE my home. It has all the things I love and is constantly evolving to suit my changing whims! Every now and then I go to a “Parade of Homes” and ooh and ahh over all the “new” stuff. I go home and realize that nothing is nicer than what I have, there just may be more of it. I know if I want a McMansion, DH and I could have one, however, we are comfortable and content! My question to the masses is always what is enough, and when is enough, enough?
BTW, I am ridiculously joyful that you will soon be in your new home!!!!
persistentillusion says:
THANK YOU!
May 16, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Robert
Yes, bravo, like I said, one breath only, that’s all we have. And you were almost the only one that got it. So, if we combine this, we could say: “one breath in one moment.” A none moment breath. Or if I try to put it in Haiku:
In this very moment
I take a deep breath in
and never exhale again
Hm, now this sounds a bit spooky…
persistentillusion says:
Something about this blog and poetry… Thank you, Robert.
May 16, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Corey
It’s the journey, not the destination that is of value. Well said. Keeping this in mind has allowed me to enjoy so much more. Enjoy the journey Hayden.
persistentillusion says:
Thank you!
May 16, 2008 at 3:58 pm
marlajayne
I could just say “Amen!” and move on, but I’m too wordy for that, especially when I have a little something to say about your new home AND the importance of enjoying the journey.
I concur with Connie that there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than in my home surrounded by family photos, “stuff” that reflects our interests and history, and furnishings that bring in more of that positive energy or chi. As knowledgeable as you are about so many things, I know you’re aware of feng shui. I didn’t learn about it until about ten years ago, and now I get kidded about being an afficianado (sp?). For instance, the foot of the bed shouldn’t be directly lined up with a doorway because that’s the “death position.” Oops. I don’t need to get started on this! I know that as much as you have looked forward to this, you’re going to create a haven for you and your sweetheart.
About the savoring, my brothers and ex-husband and I used to participate in 10-K events quite often, and I soon realized that none of them saw anything of interest or beauty along the way. Why? Because they were all so intent on winning, winning, winning. “No pain, no gain” was their motto. I, on the other hand, was always the stragger, but wow, the things I saw and savored and tucked away in my memory bank were awesome.
persistentillusion says:
When you ran that one race in memory of your dear mother, I knew that you weren’t just running to win. I think it’s amazing how you can transform the same activity simply based on your perspective.