The Past
I am an older child of an abusive, alcoholic, single parent, welfare-supported household. I spent some time in, and was kicked out of, foster care. I have been working since the age of fourteen, and at the age of sixteen I signed those paychecks over to my abusive father. I put myself through school, as well as my younger brother.
The Present
I had previously stated the following about myself:
I am not a life coach, a public speaker, or an author. This site does not, nor will it, contain advertising in an effort to generate “passive income”.
The truth is, I am a life coach, a public speaker, and an author. The difference is that it is who I am, not how I make my living.
The Future
I know, with passion and firmity, that you can change your life. I know it won’t be immediate and I know it won’t be easy, but I do know it’s possible. I also know that it isn’t possible unless you take responsibility for what you have created for yourself and it isn’t possible until you stop taking responsibility for things beyond your control.
Everyone deserves to live a life of unparalleled joy and happiness.
My purpose and vision is to motivate people to get out of the way of their success, to allow people to use technology instead of being used by technology, and to encourage people to live fully from a place of love.
To that end I am creating technology for sustainable life changes. And I couldn’t get there if it weren’t for you. Thank you.
9 comments
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October 11, 2007 at 8:35 pm
getsomehairapy
Hello!
I found you through WordPress’ tag surfer. I copied your post “Life is Your Oyster” to my blog and linked back to your site. You seem to share many of my beliefs on happiness and personal responsibilty. Happy Thursday! Aura Mae
January 3, 2008 at 6:48 pm
johnnypeepers
Thanks for your reply on my site. Great bio you got there. The sentiments you pose are the solution to the World’s problems. Citizen, heal thyself first, or something to that effect. If individuals take full responsibility for their lives, we wouldn’t need big government, prisons, and 2/3rds of the mental health professionals out there. Be sweet.
January 8, 2008 at 7:07 pm
marlajayne
I think it was Dr. Scott Peck who said that our childhoods, rotten or heavenly, definitely influence us, but they DO NOT determine who we are or what we will become. I love it when people are persevering, strong, and resilient enough to overcome odds and keep on keeping on.
persistentillusion says:
I think there is yet one more challenge once you get past overcoming your initial challenges, that of overcoming being a ’survivor’. I hear so many people describe themselves as survivors and I find it sad. We should aspire to do more and be more than survivors.
January 15, 2008 at 8:31 pm
marlajayne
Good point. Don’t you hate how labels affect us, not only in our atttitudes toward ourselves but toward others as well?
persistentillusion says:
Yes!
January 16, 2008 at 3:51 am
Lisa
I’m thinking here about how, for example, if you’ve been dx’d as “depressed” as I was after the birth of my child, any kind of tiredness or upset was instantly attributed by everyone around me as symptomatic of the depression, when in fact sometimes I just WAS tired b/c I was up all nite with a teething baby, or WAS upset b/c my spouse did something thoughtless in the moment. No biggie, but the label of “depressed person” meant not being seen in entirety/complexity. Being “depressed” at the time was part of what I was dealing with, like being the child of an abusive parent, but it wasn’t WHO I WAS in toto.
I applaud you, Hayden, for your perspective on this… and on your keen insights on many of the posts I’ve read here (just stumbled on your blog now and am hooked). You rock.
January 16, 2008 at 3:52 am
Lisa
Oops, the whole first part of my reply on the perils of labelling dropped off, I fear — and what is left looks totally dopey and out of left field. *laugh!*
persistentillusion says:
Not dopey at all! You left enough for me to get an idea…
Just so you know, scientists have conducted studies that sleep deprived people are as good as intoxicated (without the fun) or being crazy. Per my favorite quick check source, Wikipedia:
“According to a 2000 study published in the British scientific journal, researchers in Australia and New Zealand reported that sleep deprivation can have some of the same hazardous effects as being drunk…Beyond impaired motor skills, people who get too little sleep may have higher levels of stress, anxiety and depression, and may take unnecessary risks.”
That’s a really terrific example of labeling run amuck. It seems, too, that people obsess over a symptom of the problem as the problem. (Depression as opposed to the challenges of new motherhood.) In your case, I suspect, it was only the symptom which was inconvient.
Hopefully you are getting to enjoy motherhood a little more now!
January 17, 2008 at 4:15 am
Lisa
Hayden, I cannot even begin to express how much I love your blog. Just when I think it can’t get any better, I find a page like this one. of course, the funny part is that every day i try to figure out if you are male or female. haha. I keep wanting to ask you, but for fear of looking like a complete idiot, I’ve kept quiet. My guess is male. It doesn’t really matter, i suppose, but it does have me amazed every day that you’ve managed to keep your writing gender-free.
Keep up the great writing. You’re an inspiration.
persistentillusion says:
Oh! I didn’t realize. Er. Thanks!
February 4, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Guerrillero
Truly, it’s for the first time that I read such a “who am i?” entry! Respect to the author!
May 16, 2008 at 7:40 pm
SanityFound
*hats off* You’re doing an incredible job and have to agree with the use of survivor it is a mere crutch and the fastest indicator that there are unearthed issues. Our pasts don’t define us only we can do that… Keep up the good work and no more mention of Starbucks we don’t get it out here in SA and now I find myself drooling!